Although there were plenty of great dresses on the Oscar’s red carpet, there are always a few that make you scratch your head. Why would they wear that when it is a time to shine? When you are being looked at by a million people and will forever be photographed. For some of these I am sure that they were paid off by some big names, something like that had to have happened in order for them to want to wear these hideous dresses! Let’s be real, we all love a good hot mess, don’t deny it!
For this article I did need a guest blogger, a great friend of mine by the name of Rich Gilmartin, you can follow him on twitter @RichG8191 and make sure to check out his blog www.richgilmartin.com . This guy knows what he is talking about since I really don’t!
10. Nicole Kidman
Rich: Nicole Kidman looks here like she’s still playing Poison Ivy on the set for Batman. Just give it a rest, Nicole. Seriously though what is it with the redheads trying to wear lime green dresses? It’s kind of freaking me out and makes me want to sneeze all at the same time.
Willi: Lime green doesn’t mix well with red, right? I feel like you don’t need to be a fashion expert to know that shit doesn’t work.
9. Emma Stone
Rich: Emma Stone looks like she had just gotten out of a live tapping of Nickelodeon’s Slime Time Live before she jetted straight off to the Oscars and then just threw some glitter into the mix to try and convince us it’s a dress. Better luck next time Emma.
Willi: Is it weird my first thought was laser party? I don’t know why, it is just what comes to mind. Sounds like a good time, then you get there and you’re like, never mind bye. That is what this dress reminds me of.
8. Felicity Jones
Rich: Poor Felicity Jones, if it weren’t for that collar around her neck she wouldn’t even be on this list right now. Well actually maybe she would be because that skirt just straight out flushes her skin tone out and does nothing for her. Now I’m not sure how tall Felicity Jones is but something tells me if she were just a bit taller this look may have worked. Sigh, maybe next year Miss Jones.
Willi: This dress reminds me of what someone would try and pull off at prom. I feel like she really looks confident in what she is wearing though, so good for her. The color is off though, the poof is too much, and the high neck makes me think she is hiding a hickey or two,
7. Lorelei Linklater
Rich: If you saw Boyhood, then you know that Lorelei Linklater can carry some serious attitude, and this outfit doesn’t disappoint. Seriously though I’ve never seen anyone look so miserable to be at the Oscars, like they let you wear that interesting Japanese cherry-blossom dress that you probably had to fight with everyone on your team over to wear so what more do you want from us?
Willi: This dress would be appropriate if she was at the premier of Memoirs of a Geisha, that is the only time this dress would ever be appropriate.
6. Lady Gaga
Rich: My initial thought was to pass up Lady Gag, because her look on this years red carpet was so much more tame compared to years past. The top of her dress kind of looked like a smock but hey, high fashion is weird sometimes. These gloves though, they just take the cake. They are so absurdly wide she looks like she’s about to take flight. Who knows, maybe once she gets married she will finally grow up and all of this nonsense will finally come to an end.
Willi: This dress looks like it is made out of tinfoil, her oven mitts don’t help her. I feel like this is how rich people look in their kitchen when they are having a dinner party. All dressed up walking around waiting to take food out of the oven. With the color of her hair, and her dress color make her looked very washed out. I will say Gaga has still come a long way with her fashion choices. She killed it with her tribute to The Sound of Music I predict a big Gaga come back soon.
Rich: It really pains me to write this one. Viola Davis is such a great actress, and she can even be almost downright scary on How To Get Away With Murder. However this time it’s her makeup that’s scaring us. I think it might be the combination of the color of the dress and her extremely smoky eyes, it’s a bit gothic and leaves us with an unsettled feeling.
Willi: Other than her make up I thought that she looked great! Maybe if her dress was a bit darker it would look better, that is my only suggestion. Other than that Viola, you is kind, you is smart, and you is important.
4. Solange Knowles
Rich: Solange Knowles is somewhat of a modern day disco pop queen, but just because her music has got some serious groovy vibes does not give her permission to wear this jumpsuit catastrophe. The turtle neck and wide cut of the pants just looks so matronly and outdated. If it were still 2005 I would suggest that maybe she become friends with fellow Texan Ashlee Simpson and start a support group for younger siblings of celebrities who obviously don’t get enough attention.
Willi: How in the world did Solange even sneak onto this red carpet? Did she take Beyonce’s invite and just say she would go instead? I am so confused. Get outta here Solange, just because ‘Uptown Funk’ is popular doesn’t mean you need to dress like it is the 70’s.
3. Dakota Johnson
Rich: Only the Dakota Johnson, the star of 50 Shades of Grey, could take something as bad-ass as a Saint Laurent dress and still be able to look like a scared little white girl in it. She does not look comfortable at all, maybe she should go with something meeker next time to match her personality?
Willi: I think she looks great but I agree with Rich, she looks like an actual statue. She looks super uncomfortable but I would too if I had Melanie Griffith over on the sidelines acting like Regina George’s mom, probably trying to show little Dakota how to pose.
2. Jennifer Lopez
Rich: Maybe I just hate beige dresses. This one in particular though is cut way too low for J.Lo’s chest, she’s practically popping out of it, but honestly you can’t even really tell because the dress is the same color as her skin tone. It’s as if you can’t even tell where the dress ends and her chest begins! Not everything has to be about obvious sex appeal J.Lo, leave a little to the imagination next time maybe?
Willi: J.Lo more like J.No! This is my issue with J.Lo she has worn this dress for years. Alright maybe not this exact same dress, but fairly close. They are all very low cut, they all have a lot of double sided tape to make sure nothing slips out. I hate the color, her make up doesn’t help, and a slicked back ponytail isn’t my favorite on her. I love when she has her hair down in waves.
1. Keira Knightley
Rich: Now before I dive into what’s wrong with this can I just say that Keira Knightley makes a stunning mother to be? Her makeup and motherly glow are on point, and with her hair down she looks relaxed as if it just all comes oh so naturally to her. This Valentino dress though just ruins it for me, the flower and script prints are so noisy. Why Keira did you have to go and ruin a perfectly good look?
Willi: I completely agree with everything that Rich said.She is a beautiful mom to be, her makeup is perfect, she is naturally beautiful. The writing on the dress along with the flowers really throw me off. Keira, you tried, so you get a C+ for effort.