Kim Kardashian Will Release 352 Page Book Of Selfies Titled ‘Selfish’

Just when I thought Kim Kardashian couldn’t be more egotistical, more narcissistic, she goes out there and proves me wrong. I mean we should expect this right?

We should really expect a selfie book of Kim Kardashian because we all know one thing. She can’t read! Clearly I am kidding but who wants to read an autobiography about Kim Kardashian when she is on E! News all the damn time. What would she write about? How she had sex with Ray- J, filmed it, then sold it and that is why she is famous. No she would never talk about being an essential porn star because now she is so much more. She is a reality star, clothing designer, and a hands on mom, don’t forget about that one.

Honestly the fact a book about selfies is even being published kind of makes me want to be off of the planet. I think it is time to just step away from blogging, start taking selfies, find some good filters, and try and publish my own selfie book. It will be called ‘all the wrong angles’ a tell all by Will Killiams.

Why did she choose the name “Selfish” though, she could have went with “Egomaniac” I like that better. I actually like that one much better.

Rapper Lil Kim Gives Birth To Healthy Baby Girl!

Today the 39 year old former rapper and sex symbol, current plastic surgery queen gave birth to her first child. Now I am going to be nice this post, I swear it. Well maybe I won’t be. I just wonder if the little girl will look like Lil Kim used to look which was beautiful! Go ahead and google how this woman used to look, she was the sexiest woman in rap at one time now she looks like half of her face melted.

Anyway! Kim named her daughter Royal Reign, was a bad ass name. I mean can you picture her just sitting there thinking about this and then saying it out loud. It just rolls off the tongue. Royal Reign, that is one bad ass name. No one will fuck with her because she is royalty and you will be banished from the playground!

She is clearly already prepping her daughter for a future rap career with a name like that and I am completely behind it! I am ready for Royal Reign to drop her first number one.

Honestly though, congrats to Lil’ Kim and her healthy baby girl!

What Is Happening To Kim Kardashian’s Face?

No that is not a picture of an alien from Men In Black, that is Kim Kardashian. Well, she looks absolutely terrifying and I am going to have nightmares about this. According to Kim Kardashian she has never had plastic surgery but really? Really?!

This picture makes her look like an alien and I don’t know how I feel about this. When Kim first started out she was really beautiful because she looked different. She wasn’t bleach blonde or anything like that, she has an exotic look to her. Now she just looks more than exotic, she looks out of this damn universe and not in a good way.

You know, I wonder if the whole Kardashian/Jenner clan all go to the same plastic surgeon. It is clear that both Kris and Kim go to the same one. Maybe Bruce is trying to look like them so he is going to hang out with that plastic surgeon as well.

For fun I Googled Kim Kardashian 2006, just to see how much that changed.

Nope, no plastic surgery here, she looks the exact same. I hope guys read that in sarcasm.

Kim Kardashian stop the madness and leave your face alone!

Celebrities Are Tragic Facebook page!

Kim K is a good mother and wants everyone to know it!

After someone called Kim K an absentee mother she had this to say.

Now I must laugh when I read this because it seems like this guy really struck a nerve with Kim. I must ask though, why did she say that she doesn’t tweet her every move? I feel like it is her job to instagram and tweet every single thing she does. Also when the baby goes to sleep she allowed to go out and work? So during all of Kanye’s shows this baby is fast asleep? I hope that she isn’t leaving little North in a crib all alone! Kim your first public picture with her a nanny was carrying your child which isn’t a good look.

Honestly I feel bad for little North West, I understand she is already richer than I will ever be but at least my parents aren’t egotistical maniacs. Right now Kanye is literally losing his shit calling Kim K the next Marilyn Monroe and telling people their love should make them believe in love. I am worried Yeezus is sipping on that Tiger Blood that Charlie Sheen has been drinking.

Kim, it looks like this tweeter really upset you, maybe because it is true? You don’t need to watch Yeezus wear a mask and scream every single night. Also don’t say you aren’t constantly tweeting because that is just a lie.

Bound 3: James Franco and Seth Rogen

I am not going to sit here and say that I am James Franco’s biggest fan because I’m not. I think that if I sat down with him he would just stroke my leg and tell me things about art, I just think he is a bit off. Seth Rogen is hilarious with his weird Grover like voice though. Anyway as I sat down to watch this video they made as a parody to Bound 2 where Kimye have weird sex on a bike. (Also Kim K is digitally altered in that video don’t let anyone tell you different)

As the video started I spit out my coffee and I wasn’t even drinking any. I mean that whole group of friends Jonah Hill, James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jay whatever his last name is, they have all made out at one point or another. This time it was just on film. I like to think that James and Seth make a better couple than Kim and Kanye after watching this.

This was brilliant, bravo James Franco. This was much better than your weird Bieber parody.

Kim and Khloe 2.0

I am not even going to say I feel bad about this post because Kris Jenner knows exactly what she is doing. She pimping out one of her younger children while the other one suffers. Even watching the interview with these too mini Khloe just wanted to speak but no, Kim 2.0 commanded the interview. I just don’t understand why everyone is so obsessed with these two. I mean they are just the poor mans version of their older sisters right? No sex tapes though which makes them so much more boring.

Anyway I am thinking that Kendall will be the one with the sex tape since she is already showing her tiny titties. Kylie will just have to learn to be funny like Khloe because that is the only way anyone will like her.

Kendall Jenner is following in Kim K’s footsteps

It was really only a matter of time before the two youngest of the Jenner/Kardashian clan started to show off their bodies right? By bodies I of course mean boobs and such. Kendall has been 18 for all of 2 seconds so of course she is going to post a picture of her nipples on Instagram. More power to you Kendall, you are just trying to remind people that there is a new generation of hoe and they better respect that! Honestly though Miley Cyrus would be getting so much shit for posting a picture like this. Right now people are like well Kendall is 18 and just showing that she is an adult, well okay people.

I am just waiting for the next Kardashian sex tape comes out because you know that it is on its way. Maybe it will be a Khloe and Lamar sex tape, that would be weird to watch, just two giants bumping uglies. I need to know right now who Kendall’s new frenemy is going to be because we need a Kim and Paris 2.0 right this instant.