Happy 51st Birthday Johnny Depp!

ImageFifty one years ago on this fateful day Johnny Depp was born into this world, about eighteen years later he would become a heartthrob and would stay at that status for the next thirty years. I will say one thing, Johnny Depp freaks me out in a good way though. I don’t understand how he can be such a good actor and play so many different roles.

You know if I was to say I was attracted to a 51 year old man people would judge me, unless I told them it was Johnny Depp. I feel like even straight men want to sleep with Johnny Depp just to see what it is like. I mean he played Captain Jack Sparrow for gods sake! He played that coke dealer in Blow! Now he is taking on the role of playing Whitey Bulger, this man can do no wrong! Except for that last movie with Angelina Jolie, that was a wrong move. Actually his last few movies have really sucked.

This post isn’t about his sucky movies, it is about his birthday! Johnny you are forever sexy and I know you will be acting until you can no longer stand.

Happy birthday you sexy man! May you have another great fifty years of life!


Amber Heard Will Soon Be Amber Depp


Now I am not sure how soon is soon but Amber Heard is doing something so good that Johnny Depp had to put a ring on it. This couple met on the set of his movie ‘Rum Diary’ while he was still with his ex of 14 years, Vanessa Paradis. Quickly after the release of the movie, the couple broke up and Amber stopped being a lesbian and moved on to Depp. Yeah, that’s right, this blonde beauty was a lesbian for a while, Johnny Depp changed her mind though apparently.

Right when they started to day things got hot fast, Depp named a private island or some shit after her. I wish I had someone to name a private island after me! They have always been pretty quiet about their relationship until recently though so good for them finally feeling comfortable enough to share how beautiful they are with the rest of us little ugly people of the world.

How bad do you think that Vanessa Paradis feels though? Homegirl was with this weird artist for 14 years and then boom, he leaves her for a hot young thing. Well I would probably leave someone for Heard too but that isn’t the point! She said recently that she isn’t bitter but can you imagine what she is plotting? She will probably end up dating Clooney or something as a big fuck you to Depp.

Anyway, good luck to these two and good job for sinking your nails into Depp’s back Amber, you nabbed one of the sexiest men of all time.