Austin Mahone is gorgeous.

Image

Can we just talk about how hot Austin Mahone is for a 17 year old. Now I am a few years older than him, 5, but who is counting? This tiny pop star is absolutely gorgeous with those blue eyes and amazing smile. I know I should probably tame my cougar love but I can’t, not right now. So this post is just basically me confessing my undying love for someone who isn’t even legal yet. When Bieber first came out I never found him attractive but Austin Mahone is like a Bieber with darker features, I can get behind that. This must have been how guys felt about the Olsen twins right? Just sitting there counting down the days until they were legal so you can openly love someone. As for now I will simply admit my love for him via this blog. I will sit here and listen to What About Love and wish that he was singing to me.

Best Boy Bands of All Time

So today in the celebrity world it is is slow for now at least. I haven’t seen anything that has really caught my eye to write about. Kanye West was at Harvard, cool. Other than that it has been a slow day. So I decided to take it into my own hands and write about the top boybands of all time. People may complain that Jonas Brother and Hanson aren’t on the list but they aren’t a boy band. They don’t do choreographed dancing or any of that good stuff, so they didn’t make the cut.

10. Westlife- I am aware not many people in America know about these guys but they are pretty great and huge in the rest of the world. Westlife have incredible love songs and amazing voices too. They should be famous over in America but they are too good for us, too proper, that is why they made it at number 10.

09. LFO- May Rich Cronin rest in peace but before he left this world he gave us one of the best songs of all time Summer Girls. Is there any better song to bump when you want a good classic throwback song? They rapped, they sang, they danced, they were hot, they were perfect. They also gave us another great gem that people seem to forget about called Girl On TV which was written about Jennifer Love Hewitt.

08. One Direction- I was a little hesitant to put these guys on the list simply because I am convinced they will be breaking up within two years. In two years Harry Styles will be a solo artist and the rest of the guys will be like Joey, Lance, JC, and Chris, if you don’t get that reference then you are probably too young for this blog. Their songs are catchy though and in reality is that all that you need when you are in a boy band. Catchy songs, good looks, and a loyal band of fans which they have. The Directioners are almost as violent as the Beliebers, almost.

07. O-Town- This band had a very short life but they left us with the song All or Nothing which I will never be able to thank them enough for giving us. This was the original making the band, band and they were pretty good. Ashley Parker Angel was perfect and so was Jacob, then he got dreads and 13 year girls didn’t know how to handle it. They also sang about Liquid Dreams which is creepy and genius but still creepy since most of their crowd was in the young teens. Thanks O-Town and feel free to make a comeback at any time.

06. 98 Degrees- Thank the pop Gods for 98 Degrees, a four man boy band with three good looking guys. Jeff, Nick, and Drew were absolute perfection in their firemen outfits. Justin could go though, he wasn’t necessary at all but every group needs a black sheep right? Although this band tried to make a comeback I don’t think that they will ever fully come back. I just want to take a moment for the music video Hardest Thing. If you don’t remember it, I suggest you YouTube that video right this second.

05. Boyz 2 Men- I must put them in the top five because they influenced most of the boy bands that I grew up loving so much. They are also absolutely bad ass with their songs. End of the Road? Come on that song is straight fire. Then the ultimate baby making song, I’ll Make Love to You. These guys were just fire back in the 90’s and their music is still relevant to this day. I know the next thing you will do is pop in that cassette of I’ll Make Love to You and sing your hear out. You’re welcome for reminding you of great music.

04. NKOTB- These five bad boys from Boston made it possible for bands like Backstreet boys and NSYNC to become who they were. Joey, Danny, Jordan, Chris, and of course the baddest of them all Donny ruled music for a while. Of course after having hit after hit they decided to berak up and try solo careers, well Jordan and Joey did, but now they are back together and still touring. Let’s be real we are all still trying to do the dance from The Right Stuff.

03. Jackson 5- They have to make it into the top 3 simply because of a young Michael Jackson. This is what MJ who was and launched him into super stardom. Of course they were managed by his asshole of a father but that isn’t the point. The Jackson 5 brought us the King of Pop and for that we should be forever thankful.

02. NSYNC- Putting NSYNC at number 2 was easily one of the easiest choices of my life. They don’t deserve to be any lower or any higher on this list. NSYNC came otu just after Backstreet Boys and it sparked the boy band war for the ages. You either loved NSYNC or loved Backstreet Boys, no other way to put it. They gave us timeless classics like Bye Bye Bye, Gonna be Me, and Tearin’ Up My Heart, with their frosted tips and over sized clothing they stole the hearts of millions everywhere. This band also was a platform for Justin Timberlake to fly off into super stardom but he refused to recognize it for most of his solo career until recently. Even though the only two people who ever sang were JC and JT it didn’t matter simply because they had Justin Timberlake.

01. Backstreet Boys- These five guys deserve the top spot for a plethora of reasons but I will only name a few. They are celebrating their 20 year mark of being together, they had also sold more albums than any other boy band in the history of boy bands. Those are facts people and facts don’t lie. With the lead vocals being Brian, Nick, and AJ there aren’t any other voices that can compare in the boy band history. With hits like I Want It That Way, Quit Playin Games with my Heart, Larger Than Life, and then their softer side with Incomplete and Show me the meaning of being lonely, there is no way that they don’t deserve this number one spot.

Thank you for reading this list that doesn’t really mean anything and I hope you enjoy it.

Taylor Swift vs Justin Bieber

Image

I must admit this is a celebrity feud that I cannot wait to see unravel as the year goes on because you know that it isn’t going to just end, it can’t. A long, long time ago these two used to be buddies, Justin opened up for Taylor on stadium tours and they even recorded a song together. At least Taylor said that they recorded a song together but it was never released. Hell Justin even Punk’d Taylor and there were no hard feelings! They just seemed like a couple of old pals that were going to be friends forever.

All of that changed though when Justin and Selena Gomez broke up. For people who don’t know T.Swift and SelGo are the best of friends. They braid each other’s hair, cook cookies, and are known for dancing at award shows. When SelGo was caught kissing Bieber’s cheek at the AMAs this past year it was shown that T.Swift did not approve and she simply stuck her tongue out. YUCK, she wasn’t pleased at all. Anyway after I saw that I thought it was the end of the feud, okay, they didn’t like each other. She was clearly not a fan of the on and off relationship her best friend had with Bieber and I could understand that. Being a girl you never want your BFF to end up with a douche bag.

Last weekend though Bieber released a song called All Bad and threw some major shade at Taylor Swift. Apparently he said “females like to run their mouths” and a few other things about how friends talk too much. I would quote the whole thing but I couldn’t listen to it simply because it was all bad.

Now you know that T.Swift wont just sit there and let a pint sized Canadian throw shade at her. Has he forgotten that she wrote a song called “Dear John” and basically ripped John Mayer a new one. Or how she wrote a song called “Better than Revenge” and you don’t even hear about Camille Belle anymore.

I know this feud is far from over and I am beyond excited to watch it play out. Beliebers vs Swifties, who you got?!

“females like to run their mouths.”
“females like to run their mouths.”

Lamar Odom: From Crack to the Clippers

Image

The chronicles of of Lamar Odom’s wild summer has been well documented by celebrity websites all over the interweb. TMZ has gotten ever angle of it while Perez Hilton also wrote about Odom’s newest habits. Odom had basically been on a steady downfall since about July and is slowly starting to make his way back uphill. Apparently Odom has a strong chance of signing with the Los Angeles Clippers, which is a success story to everyone right? From crackhead to the Clippers, what a Cinderella story for the ages! Truth be told he was the only one I ever liked on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. He seemed to be the most normal and after a serious drug problem you know he was the most normal. Hell I would be doing drugs if Kris Jenner was my mother in law too. Anyway, I do hope that Odom can get himself cleaned up and go back to basketball. Just remember kids, crack is whack.

Leonardo DiCaprio is a unicorn

Image

Apparently some old washed up video vixen who was engaged to Tommy Lee decided to come out and talk about her sex life. She wrote some autobiography about how sad she was when Tommy went with Pam and all of this other boring stuff. When I first heard about her I figured that she would be irrelevant to my life until I read her quote about spending a night with a 19 year old Leonardo DiCaprio.

“I unbuttoned his jeans and tugged down on his boxers,” Bobbie, who was twenty-six at the time, wrote in the book (via The Daily Mail). “(What) I saw made me gasp. It made no sense. The kid put Tommy Lee to shame.” It goes to to read “Waves of satisfaction rippled through my body. If only Tommy Lee could see me now. He was a unicorn. Rare, innocent, and horny. Me, on the other hand, I’d been engaged, married and had given birth. I needed a man, not a man-child,” she added.

Using the term unicorn to describe Leo is my new favorite thing in the world. A unicorn is a rare, innocent, and horny creature. Dear God is there any better way to put it? Also reading this makes sense on how he continues to get so many women even though he is starting to look a bit bloated in his face. That and the fact he was Jack fucking Dawson, the ultimate dream boat. May I add that she says he puts Tommy Lee to shame, if you haven’t seen the porno he basically steers the boat with his penis. So thank you Bobbie whoever you are for describing a young Leonardo DiCaprio as a unicorn. I would use that term for an older Leonardo DiCaprio as well considering he is an incredible actor who will never win an Oscar.

Oh Leo, such a unicorn.

GQ Men of the Year 2013

Image

GQ is one of those magazines that I honestly do not pay much attention to. I feel like they want straight men to read it and use their helpful fashion tips but I don’t think that actually happens. Maybe it does, fuck if I know! Anyway they recently made a top 5 of the men of the year and here you have it.

Matthew McConaughey, Will Ferrell, Justin Timberlake, Kendrick Lamar, and James Gandolfini

First off I will say that I am 300% behind making James Gandolfini one of the men of the year. He pretty much changed television as Tony Soprano and from what everyone says he was an awesome guy. Great actor+awesome guy+ died too soon= GQ man of the year.
Justin Timberlake is also an obvious shoe in for this man of the year award. In the magazine he kind of sounds like a dick saying that he will never give up on acting and gets mad when people say his movies bomb…because they do…Other than that though he deserves it. Growing up I was always a BSB fan but lets be real Justin Timberlake is quickly taking Michael Jackson’s spot at king of pop since he is constantly reinventing himself and the music he sings.
Kendrick Lamar is an alright choice, I don’t really know too much about him but I have heard his music and it is good. He also called out every rapper ever so he has some balls even though he stands at like 5’2.
Will Ferrell- This one I don’t understand, then again I have never understood the whole love of Will Ferrell, he is alright in my opinion but plays the same character in every movie. He is coming out with Anchorman 2 and everyone is getting their panties in a bunch so it makes yet again, I get why they put him on the cover. Having him as himself and as Ron Burgendy is also a genius idea.
Matthew McConaughey, I fucking hate this choice. I cannot stand Matthew McConaughey and I haven’t for years now. I get it you have a weird stoner like southern drawl but why in the fuck is he on this cover? If it is because he didn’t make a sequel to Fool’s Gold then sign me up. Maybe it was because he lost all that weight for some movie that is coming out soon. Whatever it is, he shouldn’t be on this cover. Just sayin’.

Drake and Rihanna: New Power Couple?

Image

Oh Na Na, word on the street is that Drake and Rihanna are getting cozy again. To this I will shout from the rooftops how happy I am about this. Since I heard Drake say that Rihanna was good with them soft lips, I knew that they were meant to be. Well he sang those lyrics in a song but I assume that it is true. Anyway, I was shattered when she left him the first time for Chris Beatherdown Brown but this could be their shot! They allegedly spent about 10,000 at a strip club in Texas and left together at 5 a.m. Looks like wheelchair Jimmy doesn’t have any issues with anything anymore. If Drake and Rihanna get together it means more amazing collaborations between the two of them.

Honestly though I think think Drake is like Screech and Rihanna is like Lisa Turtle. Or that Rihanna is like Jackie while Drake is like Fex. The boy will pine over her for years and maybe, just maybe they will end up together. I won’t hold my breath though. In the mean time I will simply sing Oh Na Na and think of a couple name for these two. Drihanna? Rihake? Eh, that will take some time.

Lorde can be my ruler.

Image

 

Lorde can be my ruler, I truly mean that when I say it too. Lorde is the newest musician that has really caught the attention of me and the rest of the world. She has a very different sound, like Lana Del Rey except way better. Another thing is that she is only 16 and she is talking about walking tiger’s on gold leashes, what a fucking badass. When people say that Lorde’s song “Royals” is annoying it is clear that they just don’t understand what good music is. Being only 16 if you listen to more than just the song “Royals” as a listener you will realize that she is wise beyond her years. Although she has thrown shade at my queen Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and little Selena Gomez she doesn’t really get any shit for it because she is just so damn talented. Lorde is going to rule the music scene for a while, I am sure of it. A sound that is unique and isn’t about a break up is just what the music industry needs. A young strong vocalist who seems to have a good head on her shoulders. So Lorde, you can be my ruler, I will call you queen B (Although the true Queen B will always be Blair Waldorf) and you can live your fantasy. If you haven’t listened to her other songs I would strongly recommend doing that right this instant.

Justin Bieber: Fastest fall from grace of all time.

Image

 

I have an actual question for everyone that reads my blog, has anyone had a faster downfall than Justin Bieber? It is a true question that I have thought about for a while now. Bieber became big in 2009 and now that it is nearing 2014 everyone seems to be waiting for his mental break down. I feel as though his downfall started when his sweet angelic Canadian voice changed into a southern accent, it was like Madonna having an English accent. I will admit, when Bieber first came out I was in awe that a 15 year old had such talent, I thought he was absolutely incredible! As the years went on and his Christmas album played constantly in the retail store I worked at, I realized how much I hated him. When he covered “All I want for Christmas” I became furious, how dare he cover a Mariah song. Yes, I am aware that she was on the song as well but it was still horrible. His true downfall started after he released the song “Boyfriend” and totally jacked Justin Timberlake’s “Like I Love You” music video. When him and Selena broke up he dropped even further, it was pretty interesting to watch for sure. Now in 2013 after a half sleeve of hideous tattoos, shirtless pictures for days, and then getting filmed by a creepy Brazilian he has lost it. He lost the wow factor that he once had. Now those are only a few things that made him really fall from grace. I might as well add the whole rapping career he thinks he has, the Brazilian brothel that he went to, pissing in mop buckets, getting pulled over every day, and using the term “Wild Kidz” thinking it was a good name. My theory is that now that Justin Timberlake is back there can only be one Justin. Sorry Bieber but I give you one more year then you will be just another joke that people scoff at, a male Lindsay Lohan, a what could have been. If you want to take my advice, stop mumbling through your songs, stop getting stupid tattoos, and stop complaining about not having privacy when you run around shirtless.