Leonardo DiCaprio is a unicorn

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Apparently some old washed up video vixen who was engaged to Tommy Lee decided to come out and talk about her sex life. She wrote some autobiography about how sad she was when Tommy went with Pam and all of this other boring stuff. When I first heard about her I figured that she would be irrelevant to my life until I read her quote about spending a night with a 19 year old Leonardo DiCaprio.

“I unbuttoned his jeans and tugged down on his boxers,” Bobbie, who was twenty-six at the time, wrote in the book (via The Daily Mail). “(What) I saw made me gasp. It made no sense. The kid put Tommy Lee to shame.” It goes to to read “Waves of satisfaction rippled through my body. If only Tommy Lee could see me now. He was a unicorn. Rare, innocent, and horny. Me, on the other hand, I’d been engaged, married and had given birth. I needed a man, not a man-child,” she added.

Using the term unicorn to describe Leo is my new favorite thing in the world. A unicorn is a rare, innocent, and horny creature. Dear God is there any better way to put it? Also reading this makes sense on how he continues to get so many women even though he is starting to look a bit bloated in his face. That and the fact he was Jack fucking Dawson, the ultimate dream boat. May I add that she says he puts Tommy Lee to shame, if you haven’t seen the porno he basically steers the boat with his penis. So thank you Bobbie whoever you are for describing a young Leonardo DiCaprio as a unicorn. I would use that term for an older Leonardo DiCaprio as well considering he is an incredible actor who will never win an Oscar.

Oh Leo, such a unicorn.

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willikilliams

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